Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: Black Coffee

Hello everyone!!! Welcome back to Monologue Monday!!!

This week’s monologue is entitled Black Coffee. We’re still going strong with that coffee theme from last week.

I could only find one source for an author: “Brain Shaffer”

Screen Shot 2019-02-20 at 9.59.26 PM

See? Didn’t make it up. I’m assuming it’s Brian Shaffer (or some variation). If anyone knows the actual author, please let me know.

And this one is for the guys and how manly they can be…like Clint Eastwood. BUT I think it would super-interesting if a female did the monologue.

Seems about right.

Also, sometimes the joys of the Internet are serendipitous – while searching for the monologue, I discovered an Indonesian band named “Black Coffee Monologue” – seriously. Aku senang. They sing in English. And their song is right here.

There’s also a German band called Schwarzkaffee (Black Coffee) and a Korean band called 블랙 커피 (Black Coffee) as well as a South African DJ named Black Coffee. They should all collaborate.

Here’s the entire monologue:

“I used to hate black coffee, but let’s face it, black coffee is manly.  Do you think Clint Eastwood ever took “two sugars and a cream?”  Of course not:  Clint Eastwood was a man.  And the girls love manliness.  Once at a Denny’s I encountered a waitress who would change me.  Jenny; such a lovely girl.  I had to show off my manliness (or at least act the part).  I ordered a Lumberjack Slam, extra ham, a piece of carrot cake, and of course, the clincher:  black coffee.  Unimpressed with this manliest of breakfasts—which would have wowed most waiting-persons, Jenny tried to break me by bringing more and more coffee.  Oh, I downed the breakfast before the rest of my family finished their three pancakes, mind you . . . but that coffee.  I couldn’t back down now.  I’d come too far to chicken out.  She brought the check and with that topped me off:  my eleventh cup.  I tried to manage it down, but I was on my last leg long before . . . light bulb.  Once no one was looking, I dumped my coffee in my grandmother’s cup.  Mock sipped it.  Slammed it down and strode to the door—victorious.  I take my coffee black for the same reason guys do anything:  to impress women.” 

Now watch the manly actors brag about their coffee like real men…












Who was the manliest man??? Please comment below.

Now we’ve all been waiting for, Pat Suzuki‘s cover of the standard Black Coffee.


Next week our Monologue Monday coffee binge continues…and we’ll take a look at an awesome playwright.

For a complete list of monologues, click here.

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