Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: Brumbly the Elf

It’s nearly Christmas time which means that Santa will need his elves to go make stuff.

Seriously the caption on this photo was “worried helper elf.” Perhaps she learned Santa emptied her 401k for eggnog money??? Via here.

And these elves need someone to guide them during orientation – that someone is Brunbly the Elf. And what’s an orientation elf without a speech/monologue?

The monologue is short enough to post right here:

All right, you North Pole newbies, this is your orientation. The Christmas countdown is ticking away, we don’t have much time, so prick up those pointy ears and listen up! My name is Inspector Brumbly, Elf Number 8425. I have delivered this orientation speech for over a thousand years, so if I look burnt out, it is not your imagination.

The number one rule here at Santa’s workshop is, ‘When the fat man is on the floor, look busy.’ Everything after that is easy. As you can see this is the main room where all of the magic happens. Make sure when you are working alongside the conveyor belt that you do not wear jingle-bell sleeves. Last year, Happy the Elf lost an arm. Not so happy any more.

Over here, we have the stables. Yes, the reindeer fly. But their poop falls to the ground, just like the rest of us, so you can expect to be on ‘nugget-patrol’ for the first few weeks. And if Sneaky the Elf offers you fudge from the stables, do yourself a favor and say no.

Some basic tips, common sense really. Don’t stare at Rudolph’s nose. He hates that. It’s red. Get over it. If you see a disoriented talking snowman that says ‘Happy Birthday,’ just smile and nod politely. He’s senile but harmless. Don’t listen to rumors about Mrs. Claus and the Easter Bunny, and don’t mention those rumors to Santa. And especially don’t mention to him after he’s has more than two glasses of eggnog. Trust me on this one, I know from experience.

All right, elves, that’s about it. Let’s get to work!

And without further ado, he are multiple iterations of Brumbly the Elf!!!













Which elf was most motivational???? Thanks again.

For a complete list of monologues, click here.