Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: The Best Marriage Advice from “Black and White and Red All Over” by Tara Meddaugh

Hello dear readers! We’re back with yet another Monologue Monday – this week we are featuring Tara Meddaugh’s monologue The Best Marriage Advice taken from the full-length play Black and White and Red All Over.

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You might be thinking that Meddaugh has become Unknown Playwrights’ resident monologuer. Not quite, but her monologues are pretty dang good. This monologue is classic Meddaugh, written in 1998 and brimming with her unique brand of humor.

The synopsis, taken from her site, is…

A frivolous couple passes the time by hiring and firing servants, and reading old newspapers they deem to be the current. But when the Wife wants more out of her life, she charges her Husband with a perilous task… Meanwhile, four eclectic strangers wind up secretly waiting together in this couple’s bathroom. When they discover the reasons they have all been put together, the absurdities and danger of their situation become alarmingly clear.

The monologue itself extols the virtues of keeping things on leashes, so they don’t run into the street and get squashed by cars. Meddaugh even has a neat Q & A about the play on her site.

As the monologue setup describes it:

Scene: Georgia is speaking to a young man and woman who have just met in this encounter. The couple is in the bathtub, shower curtain pulled so Georgia cannot see them, but they are presumably making love, as they both have admitted they are young and attractive, and this should be the natural course of events. Georgia is a make-up artist, and older, believing she has much wisdom to impart.

I could put the monologue right hee, but you should run over to Ms. Meddaugh’s site and get it (for free).

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Though written for a female character, I’m pretty sure a male performer could do this, no problem.

For more of Meddaugh’s monologues, please check here.. If you want to read some Theatre Horror Stories, here they are.

Join us next week for another rip-roarin’ monologue!

Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: No Release by Tara Meddaugh

Hello, hello one and all!!! Welcome back my beautiful monologuistas!!!

Today we bring you yet another Tara Meddaugh classic. She’s becoming a favorite of the blog. You can find other Meddaugh monologues here:

March in Line

Ferret Envy

Single Crutch

The Beanstalk

No Release is different than all those monologues in that it is dead serious.

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This is how the audience will feel. The monologue is that powerful.

Melinda has moved back home to help her infirm mother. She knows her mother is dying and it brings no release. She feels like a marionette.

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Hopefully not THIS marionette. Damn thing costs 319 dollars.

As always, Ms. Meddaugh is kind enough to allow you to see/download the monologue free from her site, so instead of me copying it here, you can just run over there.

Now let’s see what the old YouTube pulled up:

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Hopefully more people will do this emotional monologue.

For more monologues, check here. And for our new theatre horror stories, please check here.

Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: The Beanstalk (Tara Meddaugh)

Hello again and welcome to Monologue Monday, the super fun happy place where we profile a different monologue every – single – Monday.

This week is literally Jack in The Beanstalk by Tara Meddaugh, a playwright so talented we’ve profiled two of her monologues before (March in Line – female) and (Ferret Envy – also female).

For those who don’t know, Jack and the Beanstalk is a fairy/folk tale dating back in some form perhaps 5,000 years. However, the familiar version we know first popped up in 1734 as The Story of Jack Spriggins and the Enchanted Bean. The most familiar version was published in 1890.

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Version from 1807

The original story is as follows (according to Wikipedia)

Jack is a young, poor boy living with his widowed mother and a dairy cow, on a farm cottage. The cow’s milk was their only source of income. When the cow stops giving milk, Jack’s mother tells him to take her to the market to be sold. On the way, Jack meets a bean dealer who offers magic beans in exchange for the cow, and Jack makes the trade. When he arrives home without any money, his mother becomes angry, throws the beans on the ground, and sends Jack to bed without dinner.

During the night, the magic beans cause a gigantic beanstalk to grow outside Jack’s window. The next morning, Jack climbs the beanstalk to a land high in the sky. He finds an enormous castle and sneaks in. Soon after, the castle’s owner, a giant, returns home. He smells that Jack is nearby, and speaks a rhyme:

Fee-fi-fo-fum!
I smell the blood of an English man:
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.

In the versions in which the giant’s wife (the giantess) features, she persuades him that he is mistaken and helps Jack hide. When the giant falls asleep, Jack steals a bag of gold coins and makes his escape down the beanstalk.


Jack climbs the beanstalk twice more. He learns of other treasures and steals them when the giant sleeps: first a goose that lays golden eggs, then a magic harp that plays by itself. The giant wakes when Jack leaves the house with the harp and chases Jack down the beanstalk. Jack calls to his mother for an axe and before the giant reaches the ground, cuts down the beanstalk, causing the giant to fall to his death.

Jack and his mother live happily ever after with the riches that Jack acquired.

Commentary: if the giant never really bothered anyone, Jack was kind of a jerk-face to steal from him and eventually kill him. Just saying…

Meddaugh’s monologue is like a snapshot of Jack when he first tries to climb the beanstalk and dude is scared. He talks to a crow for comfort and what follows is a character-rich psychological study of fear with a bit of humor.

The monologue can be found right here.

Trivia: that fee-fi-fo-fum line appeared earlier in Shakespeare’s King Lear:

Fie, foh, and fum,
I smell the blood of a British man.

The earliest written reference to it was by English playwright, poet and all-round writer Thomas Nashe in 1596:

Fy, Fa and fum,
I smell the blood of an Englishman

Any way you cut it, Meddaugh’s monologue is a fresh take on a millennia-old story with a lot of phyisicality. Let’s see what our brave acting heroes have accomplished:

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I hope everyone enjoyed this revisiting of a folk tale. Please join us Thursday when we profile an unknown playwright and also next Monday when we have another monologue!

Cheers!

Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: March in Line by Tara Meddaugh

Howdy everyone! This week we bring you March in Line by Tara Meddaugh.

This is not the first Meddaugh monologue to be featured here. That honor belongs to the ever-so-funny Ferret Envy

This monologue is an interestingly bizarre (or bizarrely interesting?) piece about a would-be drum major who is lining up an army of stuffed animals, ostensibly to ply their instruments but she does mention marching “to their deaths” which takes the monologue to a very interesting direction.

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march out with flutes and heads held high, and fall to your fated death…all for me.

Note: the character’s name is Stephanie but the playwright has labelled the character as gender-neutral. Both males and females have recorded videos of this monologue.

Notice how effective it becomes when actually done in front of stuffed animals.

The full monologue may be accessed here. Don’t forget to ask the playwright for permission! (AND ENJOY!!!!!)

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And there you have it, March in Line by Tara Meddaugh, available here.

Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: Ferret Envy by Tara Meddaugh

Hi everyone and Monologue Monday is back…with ferrets!!!!

In case people aren’t familiar with ferrets, this is a ferret:

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For some reason, people keep them as pets:

And you know that ferrets are basically monologue gold, right? Well, that’s what prolifically talented author Tara Meddaugh did when she wrote Ferret Envy.

If you wanna check out another Meddaugh monologue (about a drum major leading a teddy bear army) check out March in Line.

Sometimes you see Ionesco‘s name thrown around with Theatre of the Absurd. Same deal with Albee. Nah, Meddaugh is where it’s at.

Picture this: You are SO jealous of your friend’s ferret that you (probably) killed said ferret because…you want to be your friend’s ferret!!!!

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I can relate.

This is a fun, funny goofed-up piece of theatrical brilliance. Before we see the vids, you can order this monologue straight from the author. I hope she sells a million. And thanks to all the brave performers out there. It’s harder than it looks.

Who is the best ferret murderer?

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And there you have it: the A to Z of Ferret Envy.

For a complete list of monologues, click here.

Thanks!!!!