Hello everyone and welcome back for a brand-new Monologue Monday! Today’s author is Wade Bradford. A bit about Wade in his own words (taken from his site):
Wade Bradford was born and raised in the often wet and sometimes windy state of Washington. At the age of 19, Wade fell in love with a girl who lived out-of-state, so he moved to the often sunny and sometimes shaky state of California.
He earned a Masters in Literature from CSUN. Wade currently teaches English at Moorpark College. In 2011, his first picture book, Why Do I Have to Make My Bed?(edited by Red Fox Literary agent Abigail Samoun) was published by Tricycle Press/Random House. In a starred review, Publishers Weekly said of the book: “This book deserves a place on the shelves next to the Magic School Bus series.”
He’s also published several other books and has written quite a few plays, some of which are available royalty-free, including Cinema Limbo. This play takes place in a movie box office on December 24th and veers from getting-to-know-you to kissing within 10 minutes. The full play is available here.
Here is Vicky’s monologue:
VICKY: Well, you have to understand. I’m the kind of girl who takes pity on poor pathetic geeks who have never kissed a girl. Let’s just say that I like someone who is easily trainable – someone who will truly appreciate me. It’s sad, I know. But hey, I’ll take an ego boost wherever I can get it. Unfortunately, these adorably nerdy boyfriends get boring after a while. I mean, I can only listen to their computer games and mathematic equations for so long. Of course, Stuart’s different in a lot ways. He’s terrible at math, for one. And he’s pretty clueless about technology. But he’s a comic book sort of geek. And a hopeless romantic. He’s pre-occupied with holding my hand. Everywhere we go, he wants to hold hands. Even when we’re driving. And he’s got this new pastime. He keeps saying “I love you.” It was so sweet and wonderful the first time he said it. I almost cried, and I’m not the kind of girl who cries easily. But by the end of the week, he must have said “I love you” about five hundred times. And then he starts adding pet names. “I love you, honey bunch.” “I love you sweet-heart.” “I love you my little smoochy-woochy-coochi-koo.” I don’t even know what that last one means. It’s like he’s speaking in some brand-new, love-infected language. Who would have thought romance could be so boring?
There’s flexibility in how one can play this. Is Vicky more of an ingénue who fears committed relationships and does this to escape them? Or is she some femme fatale preying upon naïve and desperate guys? Is she simply coquettish? Or none of the above? Is this character an archetype or a person? Let’s see:
Well, I hope you enjoyed this monologue. You can check out Mr. Bradford’s blog here.