Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: Iris in Thunderbolts and Dunderheads (Todd McGinnis)

This week takes us back to the ancient Greek dramas and comedies of Plato, Aeschylus, Sophocles and Aristophanes. Just kidding. But there are ancient Greek gods involved.

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Isn’t that a lightning bolt? Via here.

Todd McGinnis‘ play Thunderbolts and Dunderheads takes office downsizing to Mt. Olympus as this summary explains.

IRIS, the Goddess-Of-Rainbows goes to “head office” on Mount Olympus looking for a promotion. INSTEAD… She’s threatened with being “down-sized”—permanently!
Her only hope of survival is to take on the one job no one else wants, Personal Assistant to the most dangerous employer of all time—Zeus himself! NOW… ZEUS wants Iris to help him make a “love connection” with a visiting Nordic Goddess. BUT… ZEUS’S WIFE, the Queen of the Gods, has ordered Iris to ruin Zeus’s fun… OR ELSE! So what’s a poor goddess to do?

It sounds pretty goofy. Within this play, Iris has her own monologue – she wants more respect from mortals and hopes for a promotion from ol’ Zeus.

Which of the following Irises should mortals respect more? Thanks again to all the actors putting themselves out there!

A

B

 

C

 

D

 

These are some high-caliber actors. And just for fun there are a couple of bonus videos. If you want to learn more about Iris, there’s this explainer:

 

And for those curious about the supposed healing powers of rainbows, there’s always this:

 

Good times.

For a complete list of monologues, click here.

Female Playwrights, Playwrights of the Past, Unknown playwrights

Thanksgiving plays: Madalene Barnum and Carolyn Wells

Just when you thought Halloween had a lock on goofy plays, Thanksgiving pops up with its own brand of bizarre. And we have TWO Thanksgiving plays. We have much to be thankful for.

For those readers who didn’t grow up in the US, Thanksgiving is a holiday that (according to pop culture) involves eating turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberries, pumpkin pie, rolls and a bunch of other stuff. Actual Thanksgiving meals can involve other foods such as collard greens, black eyed peas, sweet potato pie. potato salad with paprika and even lasagna. Heck, I’ve even had Korean food at a Thanksgiving meal. And some people even deep fry a turkey, resulting in sadly hilarious Youtube videos.

Thanksgiving isn’t just celebrated in the US and Canada, but also in the West African nation of Liberia.

It really isn’t all that different from other harvest-oriented festivals around the world.

Thanksgiving activities stereotypically involve interacting with long-hated family members, watching American football, eating as much as possible and passing out in front of the TV.

Some Americans pretend to care about homeless people around this time. And they make popular Youtube videos about it.

All this is in commemoration of some colonizers who didn’t die right away, so they had a feast.

Sometimes American schools have/had a Thanksgiving pageant. I don’t remember a pageant, but I had to make that stupid little Pilgrim hat with the buckle.

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LAME.

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Much better. Buy yours today!

This is where the Thanksgiving plays come in. They would’ve been acted out by school kids across our great land.

The first play, from 1922, focuses on the harvest aspect of the holiday.

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I got it for free, and so can you.

This play starts off…well…

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The Goddess of Grain finally has her story told, after being a supporting player.

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Really digging the costume choices here.

Ceres and all the other immortals are just hanging out, complaining about how mortals aren’t really thankful. What’s the best way to fix that?

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Makes sense.

I particularly like that PEACE doesn’t know what a family is….because there is no peace on Thanksgiving bwahahah. PEACE seems like a leftover from the end of WWI.

Everything is in verse in this play. And there’s a bunch of songs set to tunes people actually knew back then. More of those later.

So PEACE and PLENTY run off and catch humans.

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Why can’t the son be a “degenerate, out of style blob”???

And Lord knows what the “best type of modern girlhood” entails.

The immortals interrogate the mortals about Thanksgiving. Here is a typical exchange between MOTHER EARTH and the MOTHER on Earth.

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Each human gives their response and everyone sings a song about it. Here is dear old GRANDPA…

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And the Thanksgiving Trio sing a song based on a song most Americans know as “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” but is actually named “America” and using the melody from “God Save the Queen” and about 1,000 other songs.

One can only imagine how much better the play would’ve been with Franklin’s stirring voice.

This is all fine and good until the nameless, yet “efficient, sensible and pretty” GIRL teaches everyone the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

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So the brightest and kindest-hearted character is the GIRL. This is definitely a saving grace. And that is the play’s strongest aspect. We definitely need to learn how to give more than receive. I’d say a modern variation on that theme might make a suitable Thanksgiving play.

However, let’s go on a tangent about the air “My Maryland.”

TANGENT BEGINNING

This was the only video I could find without a Confederate flag. Why? This was a Confederate song that referred to Lincoln as a despot, called Northerners “scum” and had the phrase “Sic semper tyrannis” – the same phrase that actor from Maryland used right after he shot Lincoln. You can read all about it on the Wikihole.

So what did the brave lawmakers in Maryland do when they woke up in 2018 and realized they had the song of a bunch of traitors who got their asses beat 153 years before? Only the most limpdicked thing possible.

And “O Tannenbaum” is forever ruined by this.

TANGENT OVER

The play basically ends with everyone saying “What an awesome girl!”

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Thanksgiving Pageant from 1914. Note lack of Pilgrims and abundance of child-sized veggies. From here.

The play’s author, Carolyn Wells, was indeed quite popular for the time, writing more than 170 books, specializing in mysteries. She also married the heir to the Houghton-Mifflin publishing firm.

*Note to self: Marry heir to Samuel French publishing firm. Write 170 plays.

Please don’t judge her on the silliness of this Thanksgiving play. Instead, feel free to judge this accomplished woman based off of her vast, vast work.

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She even serialized her work in the famed Argosy magazine. My new goal is to re-add “fascination” to the mystery suspense genre.

Links to work by and about her will appear at the end.

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Judge her for her hat. Via here.

 

Now for the second part of our play-a-thon.

The First Thanksgiving Day from 1907, written by Madalene Barnum, is hilarious. It appears in A Book of Plays for Little Actors

The plot is pretty simple. It’s 1621 and the one-year anniversary of the Pilgrims totally not dying is coming up. The Pilgrims invite the local Native Americans over for a party. They use a Native American, Squanto, as interpreter.

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The play neglects to mention that the real Squanto spoke English because he’d been kidnapped to England years before.

Americans to this day continue the tradition of just showing up someplace and not bothering with the language.

The Pilgrims properly prepare for their party –

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Clams for Thanksgiving! YESSS!

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Myles Standish, badass.

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As usual, women get the drudgery work.

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The women don’t get to shoot stuff, but also they don’t have the humiliation of simply saying “Bang! Bang!” in the woods.

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Mary, Priscilla, Mrs. White – to the ovens!! Mrs. White is impressed by Standish’s huge…turkeys.

And the Native Americans show up, ostensibly speaking a real language.

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Well, Elder, there’s no football on the tube…

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Should’ve thought of that before everyone said “Yes, yes!”. Sigh.

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PLEASE, GOD, NO!

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White men are good at war stuff. Got it.

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Don’t listen to them, Squanto! Poor Squanto cannot distinguish between a cannon and thunder.

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Good-by really strange play from 1907!

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Thanksgiving pageant, St. Paul, Minnesota, 1904. Probably not much different than our play.

Madalene Barnum didn’t quite have the career Wells did. She was born in 1874, but I haven’t found a death date for her. I doubt she’s 144 years old.

Her career included educational books and plays.

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She co-authored this sexy tome in 1911.

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You can buy this.

At the time she wrote this, she was an English teacher at the Brooklyn Training School for Teachers.

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Holy crap, she got a play with Samue French!

It’s obvious these writers were going for what was popular and acceptable by the dominant society at the time. And they appear to have succeeded.

What should be in a modern Thanksgiving play??

For a list of all our playwrights, please check here.

Before we leave you, I’d like to add a video which is kinda related to today’s topic, but it is an important one. And she’s funny.

 

And here is the link dump:

The plays

The Meaning of Thanksgiving Day.

The First Thanksgiving Day, right here

The authors

Madalene Barnum at archive.org

And more!

Carolyn Wells at Wikipedia,

Wells at Britannica. And Poetry Foundation.

Works at Gutenberg.org

Works at archive.org

Wikisource

Review and bio on a blog

Fantastic Fiction.

Another overview

Another book review on a blog. The comments are vicious.

 

 

Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: Lacey’s Last Chance by Gabriel Davis

Serial killling? Check. Serial dating? Check. Strong female monologue? Check. Serial killing + serial dating + strong female monologue = destined to be on this blog. (smiley face)

This week brings us a lovely play by Gabriel Davis, Lacey’s Last Chance.

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I bet Aphra Behn wasn’t hung up on cover art. Just a random thought. Via here.

Davis’ canon seems to contain some interesting titles: Unbearable Hotness, Quiche isn’t Sexy (says who???) and Yoga Fart.

The monologue we’re using today is generally called “Serial dater” or “Serial dating” and originates from Lacey’s Last Chance.

Here’s the Amazon synopsis:

Lacey yearns for lasting love but has the unfortunate habit of – when the going gets tough – killing her partners. Hoping to attain a more peaceful life, Lacey takes up origami and begins dating Trent who, despite learning of her crimes, adores her and believes she can change. But will his faith in her be enough to keep their love – and him – alive?

Because romantic comedies about serial killing are severely under-represented in the blogosphere, here’s Serial Dater, not Killer. This is really fun.

So happy actors are taking a chance on works like these. Who stands out as particularly serial killer-y AND serial dater-y?

A

 

B

 

C

 

D

 

E

 

And those are some killer monologues! See you on Thursday with the Thanksgiving edition of Unknown Playwrights!

For another Gabriel Davis’ monologue Almost 16, click here. For Coffee Slave, click here.

For a complete list of monologues, click here.

 

Current Playwrights, Female Playwrights, Unknown playwrights

Denise O’Neal

Today we will be profiling a Houston-based playwright who not only comes out swinging when it’s time for her own work but also contributes to the greater playwright community.  

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Denise writes full-lengths and shorts and also directs plays.

Denise O’Neal has lived in Houston for over 20 years and studied Business Finance at the University of Houston.

She hails from Shreveport, LA and was raised in a military family. She caught the playwriting bug at the age of 20 when she assisted in the production of her church’s She believes it was creating papier-mâché props, helping with script edits and splashing all that stage blood on the poor guy playing Jesus that really opened her eyes.

Denise was named a recipient of the Mary McCloud Bethune Award (National Council of Negro Women, 2015) and one of the “100 Creatives” of 2014 by the Houston Press, She has been a writer, director, and producer for over 20 years. She is the executive director of Shabach Enterprise, a non-profit theater company based in Houston, TX and the owner of Watch My Groove Ent., LLC.

She’s also in charge of a really amazing festival that we’ll talk about after the plays.

In 2014 she served as the assistant director for the Pulitzer prize winner Ruined written by Lynn Nottage in its Houston regional premiere. She directed the production of Intimate Apparel, also written by Lynn Nottage in 2015. She is currently a member of the Dramatists Guild, a former board member of Scriptwriters/Houston and is very active in the Houston theatre community.

In this post we’ll look at some of her short plays in detail.

On the Other Side is a funny short with a self-explanatory title: these are all ghosts on the other side.

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Roles for seniors? Check. Psychopath? Check. Someone named Myrtle? Check. Everyone dead? Check. Love this character list.

The humor starts early on this one.

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Ted gets a bit defensive when Myrtle talks about how he died.

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I mean, everyone knows he’s dead, right? Uptight.

Meanwhile, Misty, our resident psychopathic ghost, explains how her husband got cut up into itty-bitty pieces in a bag she’s been lugging around.

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Gotta love any play with the line “A wood chipper, huh?” And gotta love that wood chipper trope,

The play ends how any play involving dead people should end, but I won’t spoil it for you.

Moving on to Sorry, Not Sorry – this also has a fun cast list.

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Basically Ray is a grade-A douche-nugget who is addicted to video games. He thinks he’s gonna have a hot ‘n’ heavy bone-a-thon with gal pal Greta…but he is a contemptuous ass.

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Ray’s kinda dense. 

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Did I mention Ray was a jerk-face? Another man and woman show up and this weirds Ray out to no end, but it turns out they’re not there for sex. A very good twist by O’Neal, but I won’t give it away.

Here’s a video of the cast members of Sorry, Not Sorry talking about the play as well as the night of short plays it was featured in:

 

The final short we’ll cover is Fragile, from Phoenix. Typical trope of a mystery package showing up. And a marriage already on the rocks.

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But as with the other plays, there’s a twist. Said box is not from some sweet young thing in Phoenix…inside the box is…

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Stephanie takes second place to Barry’s burgeoning butterfly collection. 

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Stephanie may need some counseling. Which brings us to the next play.

In addition to writing some off-beat comedy, O’Neal has also penned a full-length play that tackles the demons of addiction as experienced by various men in a treatment program run by a pastor.

A Fly in the Windshield has been relatively successful, and is available from Amazon. O’Neal spent hours asking questions of real men who were involved in treatment programs and used her research to craft this play. Here’s Denise and some of the cast talking about the play.

 

I’ll put a boatload of links about this play below.

A wonderful contribution Denise has made to the playwriting world is the Fade to Black play festival in Houston. This is definitely a labor of love for O’Neal. And provides a unique opportunity for African-American playwrights.

Lack of representation is a real problem. For example, in the 2016-2017 season in Washington, DC, African-American playwrights made up less than 10% of playwrights produced that year. African-Americans make up about 50% of the DC population.  Also, the national population seems to be 12-14% African-American, so DC theatre, you’re sucking on that end, too.

Recently the Dramatists Guild tried to quantify this disparity. I do have issues with how some of the study was conducted, namely the narrow sample size and the fact that they included one of the worst theatres in the world [I’ll keep that theatre’s name to myself for now]. BUT…I totally agree with the point they’re trying to illustrate.

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Pretty much looks like America. From here. 

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This is the breakdown of produced playwrights they give. Pretty much looks like theatre in America. Sigh.

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Apparently if we include Baltimore with DC, the percentage of plays by people of color skyrockets.

On that last statistic, they’re including all people of color and not just African Americans.

Either way, the need for festivals like Fade to Black is strong.

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First stat is a couple years old. Second stat is now. If we ever follow my proposal to ban Shakespeare for a generation, the green could fall to zero.

 

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The first stat is from a couple years ago. Second is now. When it comes to foreigners of color, things are actually equitable between genders. Also, that feeling when you’ve gained 75% but are still under one percent overall.

This is a video promo from 2013.

The festival has been a success. This year’s winners include:

Calley Anderson, Yunina Barbour-Payne, Maya Critchlow, Vincent Terrell Durham, Peter Fields, Ken Green, Lionel Hilliard, Eric C. Jones, Brandon Riley and TJ Young.

Past winners have included: Markietha Ka’Von SIngleton, Angela Y. Rice, Melanie E. Burke, and Angela Batravil.

Here’s a great radio interview with Denise about this year’s festival:

In addition to doing TV and radio interviews, Denise has kindly answered a few questions for us.

1. How did you start playwriting?
I have always loved to write. I started writing poems and essays when I was grade school and since I was heavily involved in my local church, I moved quickly into writing skits for them. When I was 21 or so, I was part of a large Easter Sunday theatre production at our Chapel. The experience was life-changing and instrumental in encouraging me to start writing full-length plays. I have been at it ever since.
 
2. What are your influences?
No particular playwright. Lynn Nottage does great work. August Wilson story of his rise to fame is amazing.
 
3. What is your most memorable production and why?
Fly In The Windshield’s 1st production was a hugely successful milestone for me. After many readings and rewrites, when it was finally mounted on stage, it did extremely well! I had been commissioned to write and direct the piece and endured a lot of hard work, but it was worth it as it received an amazing reception. The play got very positive reviews and was named 2013 Best Original Play by Broadway World. Soon after the closing of the show, the piece was published. 
 
4. What is your least memorable production and why? [you can leave out specifics or names]
Just A Few Feet Away was a piece I loved, but greatly divided my audience: they either loved it completely or hated it completely or didn’t get it or totally got it. The actors loved the work, but it just never took off as well as I’d like. The story was an attempt to weave the separate, disconnected lives of various individuals into a plot revealed just how connected the really are. I learned a hard lesson in remembering the value of being true to yourself because you simply can’t please everyone.     
 
5. What’s your funniest theatre story?
Not one of my own work, but one where I was directing A Lesson Before Dying. Apparently a firefly had made its way into the performance studio and wanted to take center stage, but he had bumped into the theater lights and was now dying. Center stage in and out of the audience seating was where he was chose to have his swan dance ushering in the last few moments of his life. Just then, a sympathetic (and annoyed) audience member, decided to use his hat to swat Mr. Firefly out of the scene, but he missed his aim and his hat went flying onto the middle of the floor. Because the audience member wouldn’t dream of leaving his hat on the floor, he decided to retrieve his hat right then and there, firefly and actors be damned. The show went on, but with a bit of distraction. The actors had a good chuckle about that for weeks to come.  
 
6. What are your writing habits like?
I can’t say I have a “method”, but usually when I have a good story line for a play everything else in the world shuts down until it is done. I still get through the tasks of the day, but I am not really truly focused on anything else but the completion of the piece. It consumes me and I inevitably end up writing into the early hours of the morning losing all track of time. It is a wonderful place to be! I write best when a story (or a life lesson) has greatly impacted me or when there is a message I believe the world needs to hear.  
 
7. What advice do you have for new playwrights?
Write and Rewrite. Do readings and rewrite again. After you’ve put out your best work remain humble and open to suggestions, but learn to know the difference between sound counsel and the simple tongue-wagging of a fool. Try not to let everyone’s opinion about your work bother you. Lastly, do what you can to find your own voice. It can take a lifetime to do it, but it’s worth it. 
 
8. Who are some other writers you feel should get more attention?
Every African-American playwright I know.

9. What are common themes in your work?
The beauty and immense intricacies of the human spirit. I also like story that have a bit of a shock value in its plot.

10. What is one thing you wished you knew now, that you didn’t know starting out?
That theatre is a great outlet, but it’s a lot of work.

11. Where did the idea for The Other Side come from?
I was in a place where I found death and the afterlife particularly fascinating probably because I had been watching a lot of crime television. In keeping with this new found pastime, I wanted to write my own version of events of the back story of a tragic life’s end but I didn’t want to tell a dreary tale so, I made it funny. Aside from the excessive amount of television I was watching, the story might have come from the fact that I often lament about things I feel could be done better if they were done “my” way to begin with (just kidding).
 
12. What have been the most rewarding aspects of the Fade to Black Fest?
It is hard to explain how personally rewarding this project is. It does so many great things for the underrepresented African-American playwright and the Houston community. We are now in our 7th year and are growing stronger every year. We are highly anticipated and respected among theatre enthusiast around the world. If I had to say what is most rewarding is the sense of validation and recognition we provide for African-American playwrights. We are also putting Houston on the map in this arena because it had never been done in the history of the city.
 
13. What advice do you have for writers who want a strong twist in their play or story?
I would just say go wild. A good playwright should have command of a vibrant imagination. Create an outline of various scenarios and pick the one you can sell the best. There is nothing worse than a poorly executed twist. Or you can lay the project down until some spectacular revelation comes to mind.
 
14. How is writing someone else’s story (like “Fly”) different from writing your own (like “The Other Side”)?
From my side, there is no difference. There’s always a lot of character research and development in every play I write. I’d never hear the end of it if I made it about my own personal life.
 
15. What’s a question you’d like to be asked? Go ahead and answer that question.
None come to mind. 

 

Thanks Denise for sharing your time and talent with us!!

For all of our other playwrights, please check here.

About Denise:

Her page at the New Play Exchange.

Profile in the Houston Press.

Theatre Online profile.

Denise’s diecting:

Broadway World interview about directing A Lesson Before Dying.

About Fly in the Windshield:

Interview with Broadway World regarding the play.

Another video interview.

Review

About Fade to Black:

Their homepage

This year’s Facebook event

From 2013

Broadway World piece from 2015

Short plug on Houston TV (you will also learn about dead butt syndrome) 2017

From 2018

More from 2018

Nice review from 2017

Profile from 2015, focusing on a gay-themed entry.

 

 

 

Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: Rather Be a Man by Joseph Arnone

Time to shake things up a bit. Joseph Arnone is a playwright with a site that seems exclusively dedicated to plays and monologues written by Mr. Arnone as well as some public domain work.

It’s obvious he’s put a lot of work into his craft. One of the monologues is taken from a one act play entitled Rather Be a Man. 

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The play comes with this image, via the author’s site.

According to the official synopsis…

“A comedic one act play involving KIM and PAM, two friends who are sick of guys trying to pick them up.”

The monologue itself also has a synopsis:

“Kim is so fed up with men approaching her with their one liners. In this comedy monologue, she talks to one of her good friends about the annoying men she randomly tolerates.”

The just-over-a-minute-long monologue makes good points about how our culture treats women and the sometimes limited choices available to women.

This monologue seems popular on the high school audition circuit and there were a good selection of videos on Youtube. And there’s a bonus monologue!!!

Thanks again to all the actors for being so brave!!

For another Joseph Arnone monologue on our site, please check out Coffee Table.

A

 

B

 

C

 

D

 

E

 

 

G

 

H

 

One of the above monologues was from an Aruban actor. Can you find her?

And for the special monologue…here is the same monologue, but in German! This version is edgier, even if you don’t speak German (hint: it’s at the 2:13 mark).

I

 

Join us Thursday, we’ll be profiling a wonderful unknown playwright! And new monologues every Monday.

For a complete list of monologues, click here.

Ciao.