Monologue Monday

Monologue Monday: Two-Faced Diva by Keith Myers

Howdy all. Happy New Year!!!! For the life of me I could not find a New Year’s monologue (okay, I found one but couldn’t find any videos). So you get Two-Faced Diva by Keith Myers. It was apparently published in something called Monologue Madness.

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Thank God for the Urban Dictionary.

The text is here:

Oh my God, what is she wearing? Gross, she’s such a skank. I don’t know why everybody thinks she’s so great. Look at her. She’s not even that cute. Her head’s too big, her eyes are too close together, and don’t get me started on those ears, AND she’s fat. Yeah, she’s pretty when she’s wearing make up. Jealous? Please, why would I be jealous of her? She’s hideous. I just don’t understand how she could be chosen as Homecoming Queen. Obviously, no one in the senior class has any taste. I am not hating on anyone, I’m just stating the facts. What? She didn’t steal my boyfriend thank you very much–I gave him to her. He was a loser anyway, they deserve each other. Ugh, she’s walking this way. I’m not going to say a word. She looks like a sardine in that dress. Did someone spray paint that thing on her–hey girl, how are you? That’s a beautiful dress and you look so pretty.

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Google image search for “diva” brings various results.
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Searching for diva in Korean (디바) brings more nightmare-inducing results.

Again, good work to the monologuers….very brave for putting themselves out there!







See you on Thursday when we profile an awesome playwright from the past!

For a complete list of monologues, click here.


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